Anguish!!

I wanted to write this somewhere.... may be to look back at what has happened to me...

It is something usual for me losing!!!

This is aint a sweet little story where you can cherish for a longer time...

I was totally flabbergasted.... on the recent appraisal..

Lot of things where running in my mind... wy me?? After showing so much of what is needed of someone. I cannot understand wy i stood last...

I was running from pillar to post to get things done.

I skipped lunch,breakfast... sometime it is cruel to do work even after an accident... i dint complain.. one day i had to wear a handkerchief mask on my face as i was week in fever to finish things up....

I AM THE SCAPEGOAT... (Ugly isnt it??)

I dont understand....

when people say you are crucial.. that should reflect in the papers

Feeling cornered... Nothing works out for me (It is official Now)

Is there a way to stop bemoaning on things which has happened??

Philosophy... ??? A Big No...

Let me narrate...

It is a cruel world we are living in... 2011.. A year, i can well remember for nothing...

May be ill tell the last the 6 months... I was excited to know that i was selected for the project... after a round of interview... And am gonna work on my favorite subject Procurement... Thanks to the manager who gave me the opportunity.. I still say to everyone around me.. That's cool!!!!

Well as a new bee to the project... With eyes flashing on you.. Not the Shutterbugs!!!

I can see peoples faces with load of guesses... Is this guy this that... i was at the same hysteria... but excited to meet new people.. faces...

It was a very small segregated bay(As people call it). i will come to people around in my next blog!!!

I received quite a bit of Knowledge transfer.. things were going good... I was performing ok ok kind off... (I wanted to push more)

Then came my favorite part SRM... i was excited to handle things and i wanted to give it all...
(Boring to read right!!!) me too:(

Hmmm... I worked so hard that no one could complain.. and i ended up winning it!!

There were loads of opportunities in other areas like HR.. i took things up and won more business from the client...

As it was the first time happening in the project.. I had my mouth awe at it... Great isnt it??

But things were not they way i supposed...

Everything alright..??? that should not happen right... yes these are dark words... it is the complete reflection of my situation right now...

You sacrifice everything for the work.. but you end up with nothing...

Sacrifice here i mean... friends, family.. made enemies with people around just for the sake of the project...

Finally... it ends up... fading and the feeling of victory and being appreciated for what you are still remains as a distant dream...

they kept all their career safe... i can see that.. And i am the target here to do that.. If thats the case i can very well say Good bye to the project.. i cannot be the scapegoat.. wy to put in so much??

Well to write many blogs like this... I know this world is unfair.. And i dont want to learn that again from the same people...

ANGELS AND DEMONS^novel now a movie

A gripping novel with great IQ. The controversial author DAN BROWN has once again made it. The novel is all about religion vs science.The novel starts of with a murder.And from there it was some series of serious murder that was paranoiac...they tortured cardinal to death, a martyr act ofcourse... robert langdon the hero of the story was continuously tested physically and mentally.. For me it was too good that at certain points i lost myself completely into the novel..I felt like i was in vatican city for a while.The character sketch was exemplary..we always have some craze for conspiracies and this novel quenches your thoughts... if you are not aware of the craze... well then it increases your curiosity.. mind boggling plot,with kolher giving a twist at the end... who is the chairman of CERN.. CERN is an scientific paradise in switzerland... whats makes the novel interesting is some conspiracies are true.. now it has come out as a movie.. hopes are high... there is also another question does an organization called illuminate which is against religion actually exist??

www.danbrown.com

http://www.cesnur.org/2005/mi_illuminati_en.htm

ANTIMATTER-the opposite of matter. The concept is simple but weird to me.. it says if there is good there must be bad. it says on the opposites of life. i am skeptical about that. so angels and demons come under the same linguistic rule.. well how much powerful is antimatter.. believe it or not, a nuclear bomb.
http://livefromcern.web.cern.ch/livefromcern/antimatter/

sdm-imd-- fizzled out.....

It was a sunday morning i could well remember... woke up with my mother's caring tea.. sipping through, the caffeine reached my head making me remember i have got a big job at hand... got out of my bed thanking god for what it was before.... i had to make myself ready for the nerve racking interview for my b-school... sdm-imd... recouping myself from my sleepy state i took the newspaper and started to read just to find out that there was nothing big in it... finished all the matutinal works...thank god i had ironed my shirt last night... headed myself to my breakfast table... shared what i was about to face that day with my mom...switching channels... have i forgot anything mom?? usual words for her:)... she started dictating thing which i should be carrying... i checked for them... good i said to myself...A bright day.. the interview was at IIT-madras... took my friend's apache and started driving thinking of muphy's law... hmm there were students all over that place... making me a little nervous as it was not that big b-school... it was last on my cards... Telling myself that i should not do anything wrong which i could regret later was waiting for my name to be called.I knew before itself that interview was gonna be tough, from my friends... as intended it was a case study... as a fresher i had never had one before which made me even more nervous.. case was vague. i was told to write a para on the case... i jotted down my points... i was happy that i could finish before others and the stipulated time... the para they gave was vague and was very remote to me.. it was on some greenship international near japan. they worked on saving the whales from poachers... but one fine day they found themself in trouble when trying to catch one poacher they killed a whale which was blown apart by the media... i hate them for these kind of cheap stuffs... creating entertaining news has some how become the new mantra... crap isnt it?? we the people-barkha dut should discuss on it i imagined... i had to be the media manager and defend them...next was the personal interview... my name was 3rd... they called... everything was fine till that moment... the two demons were staring at me... i could well read their face a nice sap goat for their ego... they read the passage.. and demanded explanation for a line, it was a lengthy and complex one... i answered it and one was able to understand and the other acted he dint... one who dint fired questions on me which i barely managed to answer... the one who understood explained about the line to the other... he proclaimed that "we at sdm are so simple and not complex as you are"... i was stunned to get a verbal slap from a repectable person... i knew it was a stress interview.. so i held my nerve, smiling at both... they both were middling with their laptops and the firing of questions continued... i managed somehow until this question came through "have you seen todays paper with this news??" oh my god i dint it must have been in middle pages... i had no answer but a "no"... it was blunt i knew but not a terrible mistake to be sent out... they both mocked at me and asked me to leave... a horrible experience... furstrated i left... there was also other untold factors like more preference for experienced ppl... i had to relax, forget this as a bad happening... i went to the beach... got back myself and returned home.... nice experience..